i draw my courage to face the despair of leaving you behind from all the years of loving you. i could not imagine having gone through life without you. the strength for me to tell you all these were taken from all the times that we have shared together perfectly.
yes, i can say that what we had have been perfect. finally, i can say that. all throughout time we have always said that our relationship is a continuous work in progress. now that one of us have to leave and move on, it can be told, nothing can be more perfect than what we have shared together.
do not come to think that i am claiming perfection because it is ending. even in my death bed i would not dare that our relationship would come to an end. the love that i feel for you will always be there to guide you and to protect you, the same way i will be bringing the love you have for me to the heavens so i can tell the angels of how happy i was to have been on earth with someone as magnificent as you.
although i cannot stop myself now from crying, i am still fighting the pain. i am incessantly drawing all the courage i can to tell you things you have already heard from me. i will continue to love you even in the next life after i close my eyes and breathe my last breath on earth.
god will not put an end to our love just as he never puts an end to any love elsewhere. it is transcendent. just like a circle, the love that we have for each other has no beginning and no end. it goes around and will forever be felt by both of us.
mitch, do not ever forget to let yourself carry on with your life. that was what you taught me. that even if we became one in our relationship we still manage to grow as individuals because that was the only way we can have more things to share with each other. when i am gone, continue making yourself grow into a better person. do the things that you love to do and share it with everyone who loved us both. i do not want you to stop living only because i will physically leave your side.
my body will come to rest because god does not want me to be burdened by this illness anymore. but it doesnt mean that my spirit will be gone. i will be up there in the heavens to watch over you and continue to love you. only by promising you that can i ensure that you will be comforted and not be consumed by the sadness.
the pain that you feel is inevitable. i am deeply hurt by the thought of leaving you, too. but when i think of finally surrendering myself in the hands of god who gave you to me, i find solace. i cannot force you to let the pain go right away. but i can assure you that god’s love will help you endure the anguish in time.
honey, i want you to know that there is nothing more i want for you in this world than to be happy. and i know that it will be hard because i wont be there beside you anymore, as you have constantly told me that i make you happy. however, please assure me that you will allow yourself the chance to live life as you do when i met you. it will take so much effort for you to be all right, and perhaps a lifetime to mend your broken heart but do not lose faith. i will be up there to ask god to guide you.
as i leave your side, do not feel that i have abandoned you. i will never do that. i will never leave you nor forsake you. i will only be joining the angels so there will be more of us to protect you and watch over you. i will even be the one, in time, to send someone by your side to make you happy.
i will go to rest when i finally close my eyes. when i do that, sing me the songs we knew until you realise how perfect things had been for the two of us. i want to see your tears flow, but not of despair but of happiness. there was no despair in our relationship, even in the end. cry, mitch. but only cry of the joy our love has brought us. promise me that.
when you cry of sadness because you miss me, let it flow. and by those tears let your pain be washed away slowly.
all i need to know is that you are still here beside me. having said that, nothing can hurt me now. the clouds have gone and the skies are beginning to clear. i will rest as needed. i will come home and i will take your love home with me, to protect me from pain. nothing can hurt me when i finally lay to rest.
i love you, mitchell. i love you so much. things will be okay, i promise. it’s going to be all right now.
take good care of yourself.